Fish ain’t bitin’

But you should be bitin’ fish. It should seem pretty easy to get fish being so close to the Baltic Sea. I’m sorry, it don’t come easy. And yet, it’s so easy, when you know the rules.

Unsel-fish as I am, I will tell you the one and only rule, which is NEVER to be violated: Find the right place!

Unsel-fish as I am, I have already done this for you.

Unsel-fish as I am, I ate so many fish, I’ve grown gills.

First lecture: If you are in M-V, you have to eat a FISCHBRÖTCHEN. It’s worth learning how to properly pronounce this word. You will need this. I know, that circle topped by those strange dots is tough. But you are tougher.

If you can manage that difficult task, nothing is going to keep you from this fresh, heavenly, delightful, succulent and tempting bonne bouche. Hang on, my mistake: You still don’t know, where to get it. Well, there is only one stairway to heaven.

First of all, you have to get to Warnemünde. Let’s pretend, you get there by train. Starting from the train station, you will only have to follow the crowd, which will duly guide you to the promenade ‘Am Strom’. I know, you might be already hungry; I know there might be hordes of tourists; I know there will be many takeaways offering you fish. Even so, stay strong! Remember, you met the challenge of learning to pronounce the Umlaut. You cannot give up now. You must not give up now! 

As soon as you see this little bowl chopper, you know, you have arrived. Try whatever you want. But I  promise you, you will be suffused with satisfaction.

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I take everybody who visits me in Rostock straight to this place. And I swear I’m not getting paid for it. I don’t even get discount (maybe I should ask). But I am – by all means – convinced of the FutterKutter.
You may be annoyed that I still have something to tell you and won’t let you enjoy your Fischbrötchen quite yet, but here is one last thing I HAVE to let you know, one last well-meant warning: It is not only me who appreciates this fish dish. For any reason, the seagulls residing there are renowned connoisseurs.
So, if you hold your Fischbrötchen, hold it TIGHT! So many times, unforgettable time, I have had to eyewitness the outrageous catastrophe of seagulls snatching. Those little monsters will eat up their spoils in front of the desperately distraught person regardless of their tears. Don’t be that person. Be safe. Hold it tight. Fight for what’s delicious – and yours!

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